The Ryanair Fat Tax

It had to happen eventually.

We've all been there. You have just squeezed your bag into the overhead compartment - and sat down to get comfortable in your seat on the plane - your tiny amount of private space for the next few hours. You glance up. Walking down the centre aisle is a man that resembles Andre the Giant. He is as wide as he is tall. Your mind starts ticking over - "God don't let him be next to me" - but then he stops - gives you a little nod - and then proceeds to spill over half your seat as he plonks his backside down. You remain trapped - unable to move your arm. He can't lower the food tray down - instead opting just to balance his dinner on his belly.

And now the solution....

Ryanair!

I can't help loathing Ryanair at the best of times. They have an amazing ability to make a £14.99 flight suddenly shoot up to £200. You will need to pay for insurance, taxes, booking fee, check-in fee, baggage fee. Soon they will have a fee for breathing in and breathing out.

Now in a bid to appease its loyal cheap flight fan base and increase profit at the same time - they plan to introduce a fat tax. Admittedly, their terms so far are for extremely obese people - 130kgs for a man and 100kgs for a woman. I am just trying to imagine the process where someone has to stand on weighing scales in full view of other passengers to determine how much fat tax they need to pay. Not at all degrading.

I see both sides to the argument. Nobody wants to be crushed in their seat by some buffet-addicted sweatbox. Why don't we just shove them in the luggage compartment though while we're at it.

Whatever your views - take a look at Ryanair.com and vote in their poll.

Mood Music - 23 Apr 2009

"Way Down In The Hole" by The Blind Boys Of Alabama from the album Spirit of the Century.

Sonny Landham & Ke Huy Quan

Last weekend I had the pleasure of meeting two people who starred in a couple of my favourite films from the 1980s - Sonny Landham and Ke Huy Quan.

I know what you're thinking. Who??

Well as anybody in their late 20s and 30s can attest - the 80s has a wealth of nostalgic classics. The cheesy rock ballad anthems, the big shoulder-pad clothing, the focus on story rather than special effects. Ahh memories. The uber-geek in me emerged a while back when I attended a Lost Boys reunion. Lets put it this way - Corey Feldman looked the same, Corey Haim did not.

So back to Landham and Quan. Sonny Landham would be most familiar to people as Billy from Predator. For those who haven't seen Predator - firstly what planet are you on - secondly he played the native-American in Arnold Schwarzenegger's band of mercenaries caught up in fighting the Predator. This was the ultimate machismo action flick - it spawned a sequel and then the Alien Versus Predator franchise.

Landham was brilliant in the role. Whilst Arnie takes most of the kudos - and rightly so - who doesn't want to scream "Get To The Choppaaaaaaaaa!" anytime you watch it - the other actors made it the total package. Carl Weathers, Bill Duke, Jesse Ventura, Richard Chaves and Sonny Landham all had distinctive traits that made them a kick-ass team.

Aside from appearing in Miami Vice and the A-Team, Landham went on to become a politician in Kentucky. And a slightly controversial one at that. He probably wouldn't be welcome in the Arab world anytime soon.

The man has a handshake that crushes every bone - but a laugh that fills a room. He clearly knows he is physically imposing yet is welcoming and friendly. He joked about the competitiveness amongst the actors whilst filming - who could lift the most weights (Arnie) and who had the biggest arms (Arnie). I found him to be a genuine guy - honest and outspoken.

Ke Huy Quan isn't a household name either. But he starred in two iconic films - The Goonies and Indiana Jones and the Temple Of Doom.

He played Harrison Ford's cheeky sidekick Short Round and perhaps more memorably - Data in the The Goonies.

I have lost count of how many times I have seen The Goonies - usually it's on each Christmas. Data was a brilliant character - with his James Bond-style gadgets. Quan himself came across as a very polite man. He spoke about the continued possibility of a Goonies sequel. Apparently the delays have been centred around Warner Brothers concerns over it making a profit. I think I speak on behalf of a generation when I say that shouldn't be a problem. Part of me hopes they don't make it - as if in some way they will mess it up - like they did with Indiana Jones.

I have been fortunate enough to meet Chunk (Jeff Cohen), Mikey (Sean Astin), Mouth (Corey Feldman) and now Data from the Goonies. Each of them were still in awe of how loved the film is - almost 25 years after its production. Quan still looks youthful - and had a hopeful look that he would get to reprise the role one more time.

Sonny Landham and Ke Huy Quan. Two men who weren't the lead actors - but two men who played key parts in 80s film classics.

Pure dislike

I am about to sit down and watch the FA Cup semi-final between Arsenal and Chelsea. I hate both teams, and don't really care who wins. I guess in some way I might get to see one set of supporters crying afterwards.

Mood Music - 18 Apr 2009

"Back In Black" by AC/DC from the album Back In Black.

Grand National 2009

It's the biggest race of the British calendar. The one day where those who would never even look at horse racing, will decide to place a bet.

It's tradition. It's excitement.

So with a field of 40 horses who do we choose? Here are my picks:

From the field of favourites I would go for Rambling Minster at 10/1 and Black Apalachi at 15/1.

I am trekking in Nepal and Tibet this year so I would also go for Himalayan Trail at 28/1.

My rank outside follows the journalism lines with Fleet Street at 125/1.

Whoever you have a punt on - good luck and enjoy the race.

Madonna Turns To Jesus

I can't be the only one who thinks that a relationship between people named Madonna and Jesus is an odd thing.

Even more scary is that fact that she is old enough to be his mother!

Protests in London

The protests were up and running yesterday in London.

As Gordon Brown, Barack Obama and the other world leaders tucked into fancy food and champagne, the protesters and police clashed violently.

The G20 meeting taking place in London is essential if the world powers are going to resolve the current economic crisis. But you just can't beat a bit of old fashioned protesting can you?

The financial district was packed full of what my friend loves to call 'soap dodgers'. Some wore masks and costumes, but plenty were clearly happy to have their faces seen. The walls were plastered with graffiti, flour and eggs were thrown and punches were exchanged.

The police who were clearly aware that the world's media had their cameras pointed at them, were left in an unenviable position. Whether they agree with the subject of the protests or not, their job is to maintain order. Without doubt many of the officers on duty were relishing the chance to use their batons. All those months of training must generate a desire to taste a little bit of violence.

Blood was certainly spilled. When the protesters made a rush to push inside the RBS building, the police responded with force. Zero tolerance indeed.

Yet, many people in the area were there to just observe. The curiosity of the public added to the numbers. The problem came in that once you were in the vicinity, it was outright impossible to get out. Perimeters were set up and moving anywhere became incredibly difficult.

Kate Nash and Russell Brand were amongst the celebrities trying to get their faces noticed. Nothing like a protest to aid the PR.

But the underlying feel was that the British certainly didn't want to embarrass themselves in front of the new President. If something had happened the repercussions would have been immense. Obama, today speaking at the Excel Centre in East London, will have security to the maximum. He is a likeable lad so far, so let's see what he can do first before we make a mess.

Bankers beware though. The public wants more blood. The media has generated a campaign of anger against you, so use caution until the mood has calmed.